I have a weak spot for saying yes. It started out of economic necessity when I launched my guitar repair service in 1990 in Chicago. I said yes so clients wouldn’t argue with me and because I was desperate to build a business. What happened is something I could not foresee – by automatically saying yes to client requests, I essentially created a customized service model that provided each client with exactly what they wanted.
And I was rewarded for this. I started out working from the trunk of my car in a gravel parking lot on the south side of Chicago but in four years I was the in-house guitar repair service in all four Chicago-area Guitar Centers, repairing (with my staff) an average of 100 guitars per week. I credit saying yes to giving the clients what they wanted for this phenomenal growth.
Years later, I incorporated saying yes into other aspects of my life with equally rewarding results.
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This summer I had the opportunity to say yes to several dozen people: youth looking for career advice, professionals looking for support for their ventures, social workers looking to support their clients, new Canadians looking for musical equipment, homeless shelters looking for musical equipment, teachers looking for ways to inspire students and students looking for a path forward in life.
Almost every week someone reaches out and it is often someone I do not know. It would be very easy to respond “I’m too busy” or “I’m not really sure I can help you” and often both of these are true. But I don’t. I automatically and always say yes.
Why?
Because I remember the times in my life when I was young, when I was lost, needing support or guidance, needing inspiration or hope. Most of the time I was told “I’m too busy” or “I’m not really sure I can help you.” That made my world a cold and lonely place. Occasionally, I was told yes and that was a game-changer for me.
In Chicago in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s I wanted so much to be part of the music scene. I dabbled in management (the Drovers), in recording/performing original music (Souled American), writing/recording my own music and playing in a covers band. Although I was doing things, the truth is I was a small-town boy, lost and out-of-my-league in a big city. So, when Joe Shanahan agree to meet, that was a pretty big deal!
Joe is the founder of the iconic 1,000-seat Cabaret Metro venue that was (as still is) the Chicago stop for the artists on their way up the ladder – the Ramones, REM, Guns and Roses, Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, you get the idea. The fact that he said yes and graciously gave me a couple hours of his time to talk about my “career” is one of the reasons, over 30 years later, I say yes.
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Last February I said yes to being a judge at a college talent show. It was an automatic response without much thought or foresight as to what this commitment would entail. However, on the evening of the event I start experiencing yes remorse, grumbling about driving across town on a cold Friday night to spend my evening in a college venue. “I gotta stop doing this” I said to myself.
Driving there, I adjusted my attitude, put on a smile and then spent the evening judging talent. Watching young people sing, dance and perform turned out to be quite rewarding, even inspiring and heartwarming at times. But after the show is when things got really interesting……
I complimented the MC, self-proclaimed “stunt magician” Wes Barker on his masterful performance and we got talking about his career, specifically his years working the college/university circuit. I was in the early phase of launching my speaking career and mentioned I was afraid I was too old to appeal to that market. Wes immediately squashed that fear saying my age would be an asset when it came to keynote speaking. He then gave me his card and said he would be glad to help in any way he can. Wow! Saying yes lead me to this seasoned ally!
The organizer of the event overheard my discussion with Wes. She approached and introduced herself, saying she was in charge of booking speakers and entertainers for the college. After a brief and pleasant conversation, she gave me her card and offered to help me navigate the college/university speaking market. Wow! Saying yes lead me to another seasoned ally!
While “working the room” and congratulating the talent show contestants I started a conversation with a fellow judge, a young man, Sam Demma, who kept his distance because he was coming down with a cold. Upon discovering he was a public speaker, I told him of my aspirations. He was immediately interested and encouraging, giving me his card and offering to help in any way he could. Wow! Saying yes lead me to yet another seasoned ally!
My mood on my drive home that evening was considerably better than it was on the drive to the talent show. I had the opportunity to offer advice and encouragement to eager, young performers. And I had a pocket full of business cards of amazing people offering to help me launch my speaking career. What a wonderful and productive night I had experienced, all because I automatically said yes months before.
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I don’t say yes to benefit myself, even though that is occasionally the result. I say yes because it is the right thing to do. It is called many things - paying it forward, karma, serial reciprocity, a random act of kindness, but the effect is the same – a fellow citizen is impacted by your good will.
The reason automatically saying yes works for me is because, well……it is automatic. I don’t have to think or evaluate or rationalize or judge. I skip all these steps. Saying yes also works for me because it is very, very rewarding to be of service, however large or small, to others. It is also very interesting. Saying yes has opened doors to situations and people I would have otherwise never been exposed to, so it greatly enriches my life.
The true beauty of automatically saying yes for me, is that once this practice became part of my routine, my way of thinking and reacting, I started to see and attract more opportunities to say yes to! Yes enriches you and helps others. Yes creates opportunities.
This puts the term “Yes Man” into a whole new light, doesn’t it? Yes, it does.